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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-11 « Destabilizer

Twitter Updates for 2012-10-11

  • PowerPoint should have a default % complete indicator so you always know how much more mundane bullshit you have to endure. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-10

  • Jerry Sandusky sentenced to 30–60 years in prison. Will serve ~30 minutes before being raped, beaten & stabbed to death. #GoodLuckWithThat #
  • Still one of my favorite XKCDs of all time: http://t.co/pnjuNCFi #
  • jQuery UI 1.9 released—Sick: http://t.co/7zial3Mi #
  • Life is a sexually transmitted disease. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-08

  • @aaronSkelly @flickr didn't give up on being good, they got bought by Yahoo! Yahoo has a level of mediocrity to maintain. in reply to aaronSkelly #
  • After using the Nexus 7 for a while the size of the iPad feels super goofy. #
  • Pre-roll ads on embedded videos is the worst thing to happen to YouTube since annotations. #
  • In presidential elections, the "cooler" guy always wins. Think back on it. #
  • Well that wasn't the outcome I was expecting: http://t.co/tYYyg04S #
  • "Jap" is the laziest racial slur ever … Like Asians are super offended by abbreviation. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-07

  • Ugh … I scheduled a meeting for 9am Tuesday, not even thinking that the office is closed on Monday. NO ONE is going to show up. Crap. #
  • There should be a contest where the winner gets to hang out with @UncleBlazer & @JODYHiGHROLLER at Disney World. #
  • I'm not double fisting, I call this, "Self bar." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-06

  • RAP GAME KiNG TUT! #
  • Did you know that if you tap the page indicator dots on the iPhone home screen, it advances? Weird. #
  • New York is so perfect right now. You should be very bummed if you don't live here. #
  • @cyrusk August & Sept in the NW is ideal … That's a given.☕🍺🎶 in reply to cyrusk #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-05

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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-04

  • It's ridiculous how much I love this song. I listen to it at least once a week: http://t.co/khZku3dg #
  • If you want to turn regular people on to black metal, start here: http://t.co/1HXtOhL4 … It still probably won't work. #
  • @tranqdotcom God also hates Martha Stewart: http://t.co/HxtyqOPl in reply to tranqdotcom #
  • LinkedIn endorsements. The professional equivalent of, "My mom says I'm cool!" … You're only as good as the company you keep. #DadAdvice #
  • Breakfast in bed? No! Breakfast IS bed. http://t.co/prN4HJOy #
  • Mitt Romney: "What do I need to do to get you into this car today?" #
  • These debate split screens are great. If you press mute & watch Romney, he acts exactly like a square white guy about to get mugged. #
  • "Sorry, Jim, but my first job as president would be to fire you." -Mitt Romney #
  • "I would also fire Big Bird." -Mitt Romney #
  • They should have boxing referees moderate debates. Intellectual policy arguments are way easier to break up than fights. "10 seconds!" #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-03

  • I suck at Outlook. My oh-shit-i'm-on-the-hook-for-stuff-this-thursday-at-9am freakout can wait til next week I guess. Crap. #
  • Presidential debates would be way more interesting if they were moderated by a guy with tourettes. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-02

  • "I go to Rick's … It's a publicly traded company." #
  • I suspect that the new Apple earbuds are going to be serious earwax shovels. Gross. #
  • Every time I see pics of Seattle now I just think it looks like a cheesy corporate recruiting mailer come to life. #
  • Thursday, November 13, 2008, 5:53pm: I lived in Seattle & this was going on outside my window … http://t.co/xSFFfmXk #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-10-01

  • While watching the Jets today I learned that Tim Tebow blocks better than he throws. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-30

  • Give a man a shit; he'll shit for a day. Teach a man to shit; he'll shit for a lifetime. #
  • Siri sucks dicks when it comes to punctuation. #
  • This twitter feed brought to you by; improper use of semicolons. #
  • Dinar Time: Any time you have to spend money in India. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-28

  • Stoner Witch #
  • Zero fucks. #
  • The bell on my bike sounds like, "Hey dipshit! You're in the fucking bike lane!" #
  • Listening to heavy pot smokers talking abut how easy it is to quit pot is the most grating kind of annoying. #DoItThen #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-27

  • If I were in charge at Ben & Jerry's there would already be an ice cream in stores called "Legitimate Grape." #
  • The C.H.A.E.L System:
    Call out a Champion.
    Hope Dana & the press listen.
    Assault the champ verbally.
    Engage the champ in battle.
    Lose. #
  • Photoshop is my personal trainer. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-26

  • Am I alone in thinking the new MySpace looks fucking retarded? Taking a big mess & adding huge images w/a million JS transitions is dumb. #
  • What the fuck do you think Christina Aguilera is Doing Right Now? http://t.co/MuJRIaDB <3 #
  • Sick moves: http://t.co/7ggwPeVp #
  • I hope you really love Gangnam Style, because that shit is with us, ubiquitously, for at least a year. Like musical cancer. #
  • iPhone apps are better. That's it. #
  • @twtchywtchygirl I love Koreans. Please take me to your favorite in-table BBQ spot. Kthxbai! in reply to twtchywtchygirl #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-25

  • Awesome gif of LA: http://t.co/2n7oddwm #
  • The spicy keychain: http://t.co/WWMqkfqG #
  • Strong evidence that Romney's gonna lose hard: http://t.co/xHXe6imB (don't forget to vote … against him.) #
  • Called Time Warner over a week ago to get cable fixed; they scheduled repair next month. Called DirecTV Saturday afternoon; watching it now. #
  • Its unreal how awful Time Warner is. DirecTV has to install a dish & call space, but they still do that faster than TWC fixes existing lines #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-23

  • it all makes so much sense now … http://t.co/1HJZ2leu #
  • My cable went out over a week ago. Time Warner scheduled a repair for next month. Called DirecTV today; they'll be here Monday. Fuck TWC. #
  • "I'm not getting drunk … Like, what the fuck?" –Nicole Burrow #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-22

  • "5 star dishes, different exotic fishes
    man this shit is, fucking ridiculous." –Kanye #
  • Worlds angriest cat: http://t.co/0VqyE3Hh #
  • This gif might be better than the Oprah-giving-away-bees gif: http://t.co/iDuNByHC #
  • Oprah gives away bees: http://t.co/iLDx9j4f #
  • @keeltohellward Because copyright law has the best interests of the artists and fans in it's heart. in reply to keeltohellward #
  • Barcelona is definitely the #1 country when it comes to sounding the most like barcalounger. I bet thats how you say barcalounger in Spanish #
  • Balderdash [bawl-der-dash] (noun) 1. A condiment for the genitals. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-21

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-20

  • "The dog didn't know tricks, but he could plan things with impeccable foresight." #ThingsNoOneHasEverSaidEver #
  • Neighborhood regular. Community alcoholic. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-19

  • It's hard to keep up with Twitter when you're giving so little shit. #
  • Best "Deal with it" gif ever? http://t.co/XkRiZP29 #
  • That moment you realize your jacket isn't waterproof. http://t.co/Ek1fHrHN #
  • Unfriended a guy on FB today for sending me too many game invites. Unfriended him in real life back when he was huffing gasoline. #standards #
  • Wanna be bummed out? Watch the Roky Erickson documentary: http://t.co/yBJWiHGP #
  • Every time I use this app it makes me happy—A Better Finder Rename http://t.co/sfudgfy2 #
  • How can anyone not like Stephan Bonnar? http://t.co/vKRio7gn … If anybody can beat Silva, I hope it's him. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-18

  • This is one of the best interviews Fox News has ever done: http://t.co/lJTE0P8W #
  • Urbanized is a great documentary. Makes me think people will slowly end up living in city states or on farms—Suburbs aren't sustainable. #
  • Everyone knows Mitt Romney was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. What's surprising is that there was still room for it next to his foot #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-17

  • It's funny how overnighting a harddrive is still the fastest way of transferring many large files to someone far away. #
  • Doe, a deer, a female deer. Ray, a guy who sells pizza everywhere. #
  • @brettbergeron This is why you should invest in my kickstarter page to invent teleportation. in reply to brettbergeron #
  • Remember RealPlayer? hahahahahaha #buffering #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-16

  • Two hipsters were having sex.

    Which one came first? #

  • "All I've eaten today is fried chicken." #FirstWorldProblems #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-15

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-14

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-13

  • The Two Income Trap: http://t.co/nD08nkEu #
  • My free phone upgrade doesn't happen for 6 months. At that point I doubt I'm going to be getting an iPhone 5. #android #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-12

  • I wonder if gay guys ever say things like, "No hetero, but CJ Spiller is on fire this year for the Bills." #
  • It's easy to design stuff that looks good when it doesn't do anything. #
  • "You got low self esteem? You can rent my ego." —Riff Raff #
  • This is why I love MMA: http://t.co/lyRKVBgk I miss Alexander Emelianenko. #
  • One of the best intro/outcome combos ever: http://t.co/I3R5cfJI #MMA #Pride #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-11

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-09

  • White women drinking champagne in the morning. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-08

  • Now you too can wash your clothes where Axl Rose once did: http://t.co/8nEU0jnZ #
  • "I hate all of you guys so much. The devil's going to fuck you in the ass with rock salt, twice." –@marceloeduardo #
  • The guy who invented meatballs; what was he trying to do? #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-07

  • These political conventions are a fuckin circle jerk snooze fest. And people wonder why young people don't vote. #
  • This trend of everyone aping Deiter Rams is leaving a huge opportunity for the next David Carson to stroll in & make a billion dollars. #
  • I'm going to produce a bukkake film starring an all orthodox Jewish cast. It'll be called, "A Tour of Jizzrael." #
  • My favorite part about the Romney campaign is watching a delusional millionaire waste his money. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-06

  • Paul Ryan was added to the Romney ticket to help ensure that they lock up the elusive self-righteous-dick vote. #
  • ATTN: Political protesters–Dress like you're serious. Idiots. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-05

  • "Hi. Would you be interested in discussing a position 2 levels below yours at a company you've never heard of?" -Every LinkedIn message ever #
  • What Would Freddy Madball Do? #
  • Dear Apple: Please announce an update to the Mac Mini next week. I will buy one immediately. #
  • @karlstanton fuck you dude. How many domains do you own? In sitting on 26. #RealTalk #GonnaDoSomethingWithThatSomeday in reply to karlstanton #
  • "Osama Bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive." — Joe Biden #IfYouLoseToRomneyYouAreUniquelyRetarded #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-04

  • "Give me one good reason not to shoot you in the face." "I'm driving." #DriveAngry #NickCage #
  • I rewired a light-switch this weekend. Also made sure my renters insurance is paid up. #
  • @marceloeduardo Ethan Marcotte got there a long time ago. in reply to marceloeduardo #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-03

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Twitter Updates for 2012-09-01

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-31

  • The good thing about the Republican National Convention is that it means there are slightly fewer Republicans everywhere else in the country #
  • The wealthy in America should set the example for success. If they cheat the system, how can we expect anyone else not to? #
  • It would be so awesome to see Reince Priebus get kicked in the head by a horse. #
  • When do you think was the last time Mitt Romney cuddled something? #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-30

  • I'm starting a kickstarter page to fund a missile which I hope to use to destroy kickstarter. It's the most annoying thing on the web. #
  • "When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful." #
  • In a couple years all this hubbub about responsive design is going to seem silly & naive. #
  • @marceloeduardo the dirty secret of web design is that we should've been optimizing for viewport size all along. Settling @1024 is just lazy in reply to marceloeduardo #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-29

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-28

  • The WiFi in this hotel is slower than 4G. It's like dialup speed. Assholes. #
  • "Say my name."

    "You're Heisenberg."

    "You're goddamn right!"

    So glad I avoided twitter all day. Sheesh. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-26

  • The craziest thing: I learned that Neil Armstrong died today while standing in the Apollo exhibit at the National Air & Space museum. Wow. #
  • Tomorrow I'm going to go to the Eternal Flame at Arlingron national Cemetery with a boom box & blast Bullet by The Misfits. #BadIdeas #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-25

  • Now I'm in Washington DC. Here to meet my mom. She gave me this, via my recently deceased grandfather. #RIP http://t.co/Hx10vLUu #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-24

  • It's 2am. I'm supposed to be on a plane at noon. I'm piss drunk. I have no idea what I'm doing. Good luck with that weird Euro train. Shit. #
  • I just bought a weird Euro train ticket on the internet, but I have no idea where it went or how to use it. #UsabilityTestsForDrunkPeople #
  • London is a weird place. It's like New York, except nothing makes sense, except everything makes sense to anyone who isn't American. #
  • … Because, honestly, nothing in america makes sense. Not temperature, not measurement, not paper size, not pretty much anything. #
  • I've almost been hit by a car at least 6 times since I've been here. They're on the wrong side of the road. I am a super dumb American. #
  • England doesn't consider itself part of Europe. Idiots. #
  • Pints in Europe are awesome. In that they're huge. Bars close at 11. Weak. I cannot confirm or deny that chicks are easy. Probably they are. #
  • I still hate the French. Not for any particular reason. Pretty much the same reason I hate the English. Only I'm in their country, so shhhh. #
  • Packing a suitcase drunk: Stuff, stuff, stuff … Holy fuck I have to fly to another continent tomorrow. Shit. #
  • Have you ever noticed that you've never seen a bird's dick? #
  • Cool, It's almost 3am. Still have no idea what I'm doing. Good thing I'm in my underwear. Or, as they call it in England, my pants. #idiots #
  • I should order room service and not answer the door. That would make up for WWII. #
  • Turns out there's a real life place called Paddington & there isnt a bear anywhere to be found. True story. I went there. #weak #
  • Remember the Deftones? Ha! Didn't think so. #
  • So a pun, a play on words, and an anecdote walk into a bar … No joke. #
  • The "personal item" I'm carrying onto this flight is my love for America. #
  • @fmemoria can you please bring me back a Namaste Motherfucker bag? I'll trade you for a London one. in reply to fmemoria #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-23

  • Whaaaaaaaat? http://t.co/CfI9sVbc Dammit. #
  • If your site doesn't work on a mobile phone, you are a shitheel. Thanks for nothing. #
  • When you stay in the same hotel twice in 2 weeks, but really spend no time there, it becomes increasingly harder to remember yr room number. #
  • haha: http://t.co/vzJyi76S #
  • "Alcohol might be man's worst enemy, but the bible says to love your enemy." — Frank Sinatra #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-22

  • I'm disappointed at how few guys in top hats I'm seeing. And where are all the chimney sweeps? #London #
  • You often hear people refer to a large forehead as a five-head.

    What do you think a five-skin looks like? #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-21

  • Ronda Rousey can put me in an arm-bar any day. #
  • It's easy to spot Americans at Heathrow. They're either fat or they have goatees. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-20

  • A lot of people stop and ask, "Oh my gosh, where do you get a cane like that!" — The HurriCane #television #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-19

  • Watched this on my flight home from London last night. This show is hysterical. http://t.co/5mCvc0WJ #
  • Came up w/a YouTube show idea. Trading Places: Remakes of movies where the lead actors come back & play each other's roles. #
  • #TradingPlaces episode 1: Nick Nolte & Shaq in Blue Chips. Shaq is a grizzled basketball coach who discovers Nick Nolte, a streetball phenom #
  • #TradingPlaces episode 2: Rocky. Talia Shire is a dykey female boxer, Stallone plays her effeminate but supportive roommate. #
  • #TradingPlaces episode 3: E.T. A young alien's life is changed forever when a young boy from earth comes to visit. #
  • They're selling a dick pump on television as a "vacuum therapy system" for erectile dysfunction. It's covered by Medicare. #America #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-17

  • That feeling when you realize you're on to something. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-16

  • Tour de Fuck You – https://t.co/YEXbMqYg #
  • The metric system and ISO 216 are beautiful in how perfectly logical they are … And they still completely confuse me. #
  • Being in London has made me realize why religion is so big in America. None of our basic organizing principles make any fucking sense. #
  • Google really is amazing: https://t.co/1sgwxMXi #
  • Good hangout bars don't exist in shi-shi London neighborhoods. Heard Buzzcocks, got optimistic, bartender said playlist was weird. #weak #
  • Mitt Romney is a sack of shit. #
  • @aaronshapiro you're CEO, what do you have to worry about? in reply to aaronshapiro #
  • I want one of these just out of curiosity. http://t.co/J1t6cCGz #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-15

  • There are 2 things in England that are very hard to get used to. Cars driving on the other side of the road and their weird moon money. #
  • Where are all the ridiculously fat people? #Europe #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-14

  • Traveling to other countries means I got back to the hotel earlier & couldn't figure out how to turn the lights on. #TrueStory #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-12

  • It's easy to be a trustafarian. You live off jah mom and jah dad. #
  • Packing for London. See you next week America. The Olympics are over, but there are still things to win. #
  • You can tell its reggae because there's reverb on the drums. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-11

  • How to be awesome: http://t.co/A3J6PZlK #
  • Anybody who says they don't like the sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits from Starbucks is either a liar or an idiot. #
  • Music Supergroup Idea: Bel Biv Devo … R&B meets New Wave. Michael Bivens vs. Mark Mothersbaugh. It's genius, believe me. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-10

  • There really isn't enough super ignorant hip hop in the world. #ThingsNoOnHasEverSaid #
  • I wish my while life was sponsored by Taco Bell. #
  • What do you think Michael Bolton is doing right now? #
  • Listening to nothing but black metal today. The guys in Wolves in the Throne Room are among the most pretentious people I've ever seen. #
  • ATTN Anyone making another "clever" weather app: Fucking satellite imagery is the most useful thing aside from temp. Figure this out. #
  • "Just because you're chained to the porch doesn't mean you can't bark at the cars."
    #RealTalk #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-09

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-08

  • Mashable & HuffPo article pages are examples of what I hate most about the web. Ad sales guys should be prerequired to study UX for a year. #
  • Have you ever noticed that Bill Nye the Science Guy & Pee Wee Herman both wear the same outfit? True story. #
  • Irony: The fact that conspiracy theorists never stop to think that they're actively being trolled. #
  • The guy who shot up that Sikh temple fits the expected stereotype perfectly: Fat, racist, white douchebag named Wade. I hope he suffered. #
  • Show idea: The Daily Show with John Cusack. #
  • "There's the red zone on the splashometer."
    #nbcolympics #
  • NBC is testing the emergency broadcast system during the Olympics.
    #nbcolympics #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-07

  • Lollapalooza is still a thing? The pop-culture equivalent of a fart in space. #
  • After playing a game where you basically just tap shit for hours, I may have decided video games are quite stupid. #
  • All this talk about Chick-fil-A has made me really hungry for Chick-fil-A. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-05

  • Fat Rockabilly. #
  • Business idea: YOLO Cab.

    Putting together Kickstarter page now. #

  • Just noticed some hair in a mouthful of chips. Fished it out and swallowed the chips. #YOLO #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-03

  • Facebook: Where dumb people go to get accolades from dumb people about the asinine garbage they create. #
  • Alcohol: It'll probably kill me, but by the time it does I'll have had so much of it that I won't even care. #
  • Propagandhi: Fuck eardrums. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-02

  • I didn't think they could make Digg any worse after their first re-design, then they decided to make it look like The Huffington Post. Ugh. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-08-01

  • The X-Games #RejectedOlympicEvents #
  • You know what's cool about The Huffington Post?

    NOTHING. #

  • Everybody talks about the beach volleyball girls, but gymnastics is where the real hotties are. Strength + flexibility? Would. #
  • When it comes to the question of Android vs iOS, only one allows me to BitTorrent & watch porn in any file format. Debate over. #
  • Ryan Seacrest is the new Regis. #
  • "Dude, that's pretty fast for clouds, man." #
  • Eat iron, shit chain. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-31

  • Watching NBC cover the Olympics makes me wonder if America is really this stupid. #
  • I can already see 60-year-old Ryan Lochte kicking himself for looking like such a douche with those dumbass grills. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-30

  • "Call the cops, call the cops. Got mad motherfuckin' marijuana crops." #
  • @marceloeduardo The Nexus 7 is so killer. It's basically what I wanted the iPad to be before it came out–a computer without a keyboard. in reply to marceloeduardo #
  • @tgtg I think you just have to order it and wait. Someone at work posted theirs on off topic so I took it as an omen & bought it. in reply to tgtg #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-29

  • I'm going for the world record of not giving a shit about the Olympics. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-28

  • Another mail client!?!?! Just what I've been waiting for! I bet this one will solve a whole bunch of new problems I didn't know I had. #
  • @keeltohellward What if I'm only on there so I can laugh at people I went to high school with? in reply to keeltohellward #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-27

  • Nexus 7: Hot shit. Android FTW. #
  • The way Chrome automatically syncs your bookmarks across devices when you're signed in is amazing. Google/Android is genius. #
  • Why's everybody so mad at chik-fil-a? What about Urban Outfitters/Anthropologie? — Their CEO is a well established piece if shit. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-26

  • One of the first things you notice about naive designers is that they struggle under the misconception that what they're creating is art. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-25

  • "That's pride FUCKIN' with you!" #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-23

  • If someone has a pharmaceutical drug habit & listens to the Kinks, there's a pretty good chance they're not worth keeping as a friend. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-22

  • Seals are just dog mermaids. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-21

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-20

  • Email unsubscribe links should work in 1 click. If you don't do this, you are a cock. #
  • Tonights F train brought to you by: Sleepy Asians in V-neck shirts. #
  • "I got potentials to blow up a Winchell's." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-17

  • @proulxsie Nah. I think people feel great after 30 because that's the point when your alcoholism really hits it's stride. in reply to proulxsie #
  • Shell's new social marketing campaign is total genius. http://t.co/sobeWwL6 #
  • Oh look, Yahoo! has another CEO.

    In other news, Yahoo! is still completely irrelevant and hasn't done anything notable in about 10 years. #

  • What's weird about Led Zeppelin is when the charm wears off & they become the most obnoxious band in the "Cassic Rock" genre. #
  • I would just like to reaffirm my contention that Slint sucked. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-16

  • Who the hell wrote the Accu-chek Nano jingle? It's mind blowing. #
  • "Aaw, shit! You're stepping on the dogs pizza!!" #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-14

  • A great way to start a friday: http://t.co/hBtonRXs #
  • I need to bring a guitar to work. #
  • Sitting down to pee: Hella comfortable vs. Hella gay. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-13

  • "Gayoths" … It's a thing. Think abut it. #
  • "I'm way drunker than you are. Let's just get that out of the way." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-11

  • I'm Dracula, bitch. Don't have a problem smackin' a bitch. #
  • North Carolina: I never thought we'd become so well acquainted. Thx for having more restaurants in the Charlotte airport than in Charlotte. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-10

  • Getting fat is easy. Getting unfat is hard. #
  • User with 37 thousand tweets. That's an average of 16 tweets per day since the day twitter started. Kill yourself. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-10

  • Getting fat is easy. Getting unfat is hard. #
  • User with 37 thousand tweets. That's an average of 16 tweets per day since the day twitter started. Kill yourself. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-09

  • Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing. #
  • "The biggest fight ever in UFC history" was kind if a snoozer of a fight card. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-08

  • Wake up at 6:00am

    Be pretty sure you stiffed a cab for fare last night.

    Have no idea where your pants are.
    #VisualDesignOutings #

  • Yolo cholo Han Solo. #
  • Sometimes you wake up at dawn and everyone in your twitter feed has gone nuts. #
  • Reason #1 to get married: free shit.

    Reason #2 love. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-07

  • There's too many people who don't recognize that being a talented designer & leader isn't the same thing as just being really aggressive. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-06

  • Did you hear about how horses are getting into free-running?

    They call it Sarah Jessica Parkour. #

  • Brazzers. #
  • Pussyfart Junction #worstwesternsever #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-05

  • Happy birthday America listen to The Melvins. #
  • Fuck pagination. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-04

  • Prediction: Katie Holmes will have epic jowls when she gets old. #
  • The power for my entire building, except my apartment, is out. Being the only tenants here is weird. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-03

  • Sometimes I'm proud of how disgustingly greasy my hair can get. #
  • @proulxsie Parking tickets are for the birds–take the ferry: http://t.co/0w3EIcuI in reply to proulxsie #
  • Even if I were physically capable of growing a mustache, I wouldn't. #
  • I'm always stoked when classy handsome dudes come out as gay. Lowers the bar for the rest of us sloppy average guys. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-07-02

  • It's too hot to live. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-29

  • Sometimes you seriously consider punching a baby. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-27

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-22

  • If your job is to make sandwiches for a living, you should be able to tell the difference between ham & turkey. #DisappointingPeas amp;Pickles #
  • Metallica sucks. #
  • "We hired you for your subject matter expertise … We're going to question every recommendation you make." #
  • Do people have armpit fetishes? Cuz that's gross. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-21

  • I just saw a guy doing a mean Crip Walk.

    … Then I realized he actually had cerebral palsy. #

  • A good girlfriend is like a pair of swim trunks.

    Soaking wet & wrapped around your junk. #

  • I don't think barnyards actually exist. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-20

  • Smoking grass; pounding ass. #
  • I got that head nod shit, make you break your neck. Woo-Hah. Got you all in check. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-19

  • Three of my favorite words on the internet: Out For Delivery. #
  • The best part about the Microsoft surface is that it only took them 12 years of trying to make a non-retarded tablet. #
  • @aaronshapiro MS is just being tricky with the no-one-pays-attention-to-us-anymore-so-let's-just-quietly-get-our-shit-together strategy. in reply to aaronshapiro #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-18

  • I order hella goods & services on my cellphone. Eat it. #
  • People complain that Insanity(tm) is too extreme. I just did Cardio Circuit drunk. Eat it. #
  • @fmemoria Do you count alcohol & marijuana as drugs? Cuz those things are awesome. Way better than ice cream. in reply to fmemoria #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-17

  • Get up before noon on a Saturday? Pshh. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-14

  • @fmemoria never underestimate the Olive Garden. in reply to fmemoria #
  • My favorite racial stereotype?

    Ghetto blaster. #

  • Wow. Miller has created a can that makes it easier to shotgun beers. #NextLevel #Alcoholism #
  • Does it make you racist when you realize there's two kinds of black comedy? #
  • Sokable Beer!!! #DailyShow #norml #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-13

  • How is it that Tuesday feels like Thursday? #
  • #GimmickAccountIdeas – Create a foursquare account called "I Shit Here." Check into places while shitting there. Geotag & leave photo. #
  • They say John Wayne died with 5 pounds of compacted feces in his colon … And that's why they call him The Duke. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-12

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-08

  • For years I thought to myself, "Why should I bother getting married?" Well, here's the answer: Baked goods & guaranteed vadge. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-07

  • Protip: If you customize everything, standards no longer matter. #
  • Some people cheat the system; some people are smart. Some smart people cheat the system. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-06

  • If I were English & watching this Diamond Jubilee thing, I'd just be super pissed about how it makes England look terrible at partying. #
  • Television commercials: the most overvalued ad format. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-05

  • After my swollen sunburned legs healed, Kc told me she wouldn't love me anymore if I had cankles. I think more of her now because of that. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-04

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Twitter Updates for 2012-06-01

  • @fixpert http://t.co/ub2bodfB #
  • I'd rather be smoking weed. #
  • I pretty much work at the best place ever. Everyone who works there is better than everyone else at all the things. #
  • Mid-90s metalcore. Still awesome. #AnvilChandelier #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-31

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-30

  • @mittromney misspelled America in his own iPhone app. The man runs a tight ship. http://t.co/RUmtWIlI #
  • Worst sunburn ever. The itch is way worse than the burn was. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-28

  • Cute 20 yr old girl I used to work with. You got married. Now you're 21 & pregnant. Great life choices. #Facebook #
  • Obnoxious douche I used to work with. Thx for posting all those photos. It's now clear how unhappy you & your wife are. #Facebook #
  • Went & looked at some ships today. Fuck being in the Navy … Unless, of course, the idea of living in a floating gym locker appeals to you. #
  • Went & saw the new Wes Anderson movie. A million dicks will see it & think they're the only ones who did. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-27

  • My cat doesn't bother farting, he just cakes shit all over his ass and walks around. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-26

  • Finally home and sooooooo sunburned. This is what happens when I don't have functioning Internet access for a week. #
  • If you really good at organizing dead people, you might say you're skilled in morgue-anization. #
  • "blargle blargh, all you can eat seafood, blargle blargh, Jimmy Buffet!" #OutsideTheBarYelling #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-19

  • Through carefully managed religious discovery I bet you could get away with not going to work in December at all. #
  • When Rob Halford wrote, "Ram it Down," & "Hell Bent for Leather," why didn't anybody else in Judas Priest mention that it sounds hella gay? #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-17

  • "Do you know this person from [place you used to work]"

    "No, but she was there for more than 2 years which means she probably sucks." #

  • "Clients without vision get shit." — David Skokna #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-16

  • ITT: Hilarious excuses in work emails — "I have to go bartend a fundraiser for my girlfriend's non-profit." #
  • Have 1 cat & 1 dog. Get catnip spray. Put on dog. EpicLulz.avi #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-15

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-12

  • "Just wash your butt-hole. That's all I ask." #
  • I just opened a beer with my iPhone. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-11

  • Why on earth does The Expendables 2 not come out 'til August? How can anyone wait that long!?!? #
  • Sad days. I'm gonna miss you buddy. #Garth http://t.co/UCuFifvN #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-10

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-09

  • Is it possible that I just finally caught up on expenses after 3 months? no way. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-09

  • Is it possible that I just finally caught up on expenses after 3 months? no way. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-09

  • Is it possible that I just finally caught up on expenses after 3 months? no way. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-09

  • Is it possible that I just finally caught up on expenses after 3 months? no way. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-09

  • Is it possible that I just finally caught up on expenses after 3 months? no way. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-07

  • "I have an Android … Which means my battery's dead." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-06

  • Thin Lizzy is the greatest band of all time. #
  • You know how Snoopy was a Beagle & didn't look anything like a Beagle?

    Charles Shulz couldn't draw dogs for shit. #

  • Whenever you start to feel like a real big shot, remember that we're all talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe #
  • "He had a perfectly wonderful loving marriage … The last one." — Some old lady at the diner. #
  • Real talk: http://t.co/EFI3yHIa #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-04

  • When making mobile sites/apps, one of your top priorities should be to keep the user from ever having to use a keypad. Typing sucks. #
  • @aaronSkelly I know right!?! YOU HAVE ONE THING TO GET RIGHT IN THE MORNING! in reply to aaronSkelly #
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. #
  • Drunk guy with too much money: thanks for all the drinks. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-03

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Twitter Updates for 2012-05-02

  • Rockin Android hard. Realizing standards are just guidelines. Even Apple is wicked inconsistent with their own HIG. Do what makes sense. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-30

  • I'd be more worried about the Chinese taking over the world if I didn't love pork fried rice so much. #
  • "Who knows, maybe Jesus was just trying to land the fishes and loaves account." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-29

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-28

  • If you're at a keyboard right now, raise your right hand in the air & type the word stewardess. It feels awesome, right? #
  • At the end of the day, I don't give a fuck what it looks like if it isn't easy to use. #
  • @gretchmo @kasinator It says right on the package "Do not take with alcohol" … That's why I only smoke weed when I'm sick. in reply to gretchmo #
  • "I don't care who you are, I'm not taking a picture with you at a concentration camp." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-27

  • I just got into @Everlane. I get $5 for doing this: https://t.co/fm3Ipgz1 #
  • Life is funny. Growth is revealing. #
  • Realizing what you don't want to be will motivate & propel you exponentially further than realizing what you do want to be. #
  • Fucking TiVo. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-26

  • Fingernails are really just booger shovels. #
  • My favorite thing to do on Facebook is lurk the profiles of the epic douchebags I know, chuckle to myself, & then feel better about life. #
  • If I were a chef in Taiwan I would start a new food trend & call it Tai food just to confuse suburban Americans. #
  • I'm totally gonna invent an app that just extracts the bikini pics from your female friends Facebook profiles. It would be such a timesaver. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-24

  • I'm pretty sure 'miserable clients' are an artifact of miserable client management. #
  • I bet Janis Joplin had a super gross vadge. #
  • My favorite trait of humanity: They learn. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ….. THEY LEARN!!!!!! #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-22

  • @_ll_l Check this out: http://t.co/vVLvryjJ #
  • How are culottes still a thing? #
  • The Floor: Any home's biggest shelf. #
  • Isn't every week Earth Week? Earth is generally where I am all year. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-20

  • The men's bathroom in the Laguardia baggage-claim is disgusting and there's no soap. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-18

  • You grow old & die while kids take your place. #
  • I was watching Charlie Rose interview this Rhodes Scholar on his show earlier & it really struck me how neither ever used the term dick-face #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-17

  • 85 degrees in April!?

    What the Duke boys didn't know is that everything's going to be on fire this summer. #

  • This summer, some news reporter will capture video of a bald eagle literally on fire, & after that, everyone will believe in global warming #
  • This summer, supermarkets in Dallas will only sell hard boiled eggs, & after that, everyone will believe in global warming. #
  • This summer, people with windmills will be the only ones with air conditioning, & after that, everyone will believe in global warming. #
  • This summer, millions of people will realize drinking fountains used to be a thing, & after that, everyone will believe in global warming. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-15

  • Say what you want about Courtney Love, 'Live Through This' is a great record. Probably because Kurt wrote it, but whatever. #
  • "Nice boys don't play rock n' roll." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-14

  • Protip: wearing a light sweater over a button-down, lets you go to client meetings without ironing your shirt. #NextLevelLazy #
  • "The girls there had nice bodies, but their faces were kinda busted."

    "Whatever. You don't look at the mantle while you're pokin the fire." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-13

  • Fuck the world. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-12

  • People in North Carolina are super nice. #
  • I have effectively replaced the term "Man up" in my vocabulary with, "Put your dick on." It's way better. You should too. #
  • Almost anybody can be a psychotherapist if you just take the "the" out of it. #
  • "It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die." — HST #
  • Gay guys get all the chicks. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-10

  • Ginger or Mary Anne? Mary Anne. No question. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-08

  • If you say "beer can" in an English accent it sounds like "bacon" in a Jamaican accent. #SmokeWeedEveryday #
  • "Ebay of pigs!!!" #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-07

  • Good Friday: The day Jews celebrate killing Jesus, & Christians celebrate the fact that zombies can't be killed. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-06

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-05

  • "I love this font they're using. I wonder what it is."

    *Checks WhatTheFont*

    "God dammit! It's just Futura." #

  • Every time I'm on the iPhone I'm like, "I'll tap that." #
  • Would. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-05

  • "I love this font they're using. I wonder what it is."

    *Checks WhatTheFont*

    "God dammit! It's just Futura." #

  • Every time I'm on the iPhone I'm like, "I'll tap that." #
  • Would. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-04

  • I'm in a cab and I swear it's the cab driver's first day. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-03

  • David Cross is sitting 50ft away from me eating dinner & my non-douchebag-fan principles dictate that I'm not allowed to do anything. Dammit #
  • My dog won't eat gummy bears. What a dick. #
  • You know what would be super cool?

    A blast freezer. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-02

  • News flash: KISS sucks. #
  • GAME OF THRONES!!! #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-04-01

  • @mgallivan also Rutledge Wood has all the gravitas of an 8th grader. He doesn't hold a candle to Jeremy Clarkson. in reply to mgallivan #
  • Any time you walk into a bar that has more than 20 taps, don't order a lager. #
  • To varying extremes, all authority is fake. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-31

  • @fmemoria will you get me one?? in reply to fmemoria #
  • *PUNCH*

    "I guess you win by disqualification. You're the champ. Soak it up tomato-face." #

  • American Top Gear is unbelievably horrible. The British version is so good and this is so bad. How did this happen. Embarrassing. #
  • Went to Pacifico tonight. Service SUCKED. Hostess acted all indignant when we left a $6 tip on a $100 tab. Fuck them. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-30

  • Embrace mobile or watch it kill you. #
  • @proulxsie elfa shelves or go home. in reply to proulxsie #
  • There is only one god, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: 'Not today'. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-29

  • "It's not a matter of being picky, it's about getting what you want." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-28

  • Fat people who smile too much.

    Dotcom. #

  • Cowboys also wear skinny jeans you know. #
  • The more people you love, the weaker you are.

    Winter is coming. #

  • The biggest sticking point in my relationship is that my wife is a hillbilly. #
  • Tyrian Lannister: baller status. #
  • All men are made of water. Do you know this? If you pierce them, the water leaks out, and they die. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-27

  • I bet Janis Joplin was filthy in the sack. And by that I mean she never showered and slept in a dirty old sleeping bag. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-26

  • Things overheard at Mile End: "Sick moccasins!" & "Killer brunch, bro!" … Different people. #
  • I snack because I'm actually thirsty sometimes. I have a dumb mouth. Also, pineapple juice is hella bomb. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-23

  • I love iPhone fads. Everyone was into Draw Something for exactly 3 days. #
  • @bryanle It looks nice, yes, but I have no idea why it's there. in reply to bryanle #
  • Trying too hard ruins everything. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-22

  • The Christian Science Monitor would be way cooler if it were a secretive agency monitoring science like Chris Hansen monitors pedophiles. #
  • Sick of it All – Scratch the Surface on max volume. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-21

  • Sometimes you realize your 20-something friends are just as your 50-something friends were 30-something years ago. #NothingNewUnderTheSun #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-18

  • I just realized I celebrated by 2-year anniversary at huge by spending the night there. Good times. #
  • TODAY EVERY GIRL IS NAMED MEGAN!!! #
  • Playing U2 on St Patrick's day just reminds everyone of the most embarrassing thing Ireland has ever produced. #
  • I DECLARE THIS DAY "THIN LIZZY DAY!" #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-17

  • @amarides holy crap … Is Braid still a band? Jesus. in reply to amarides #
  • Have your toenails ever grown out so far that it feels like you're wearing shoes even when you're barefoot?

    Yeah? Me neither. #

  • Gordelícia #
  • Punching the Clown is a great movie. Watch it. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-16

  • I will force feed you your own teeth. #
  • Sometimes watching a total fox break someone else's arm is the best remedy. #
  • Some people will say Van Halen is nothing without David Lee Roth. I just wish Eddie Van Halen would die of cancer. #
  • (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ #
  • I'm hella drunk. Which disproves the clasyness of first-class. Cos' that's how I got here. Fuck you. #
  • All male flight attendants are gay.

    Don't agree? You're in the wrong occupation. Queen. #

  • High fives and stage dives. #
  • I just realized tomorrow is Friday. Dammit. #
  • FUNCTION AT THE CENTER … #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-15

  • At this point I don't need a vacation, I need to respawn. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-14

  • Tom Waits is the kind of guy you grow to really really hate. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-13

  • If bears didn't shit in the woods it would make the line at Starbucks pretty fuckin' weird. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-11

  • In a world of personalized recommendations, the thing I want most is an interesting human being who has a point of view. #
  • Leatherface might be the most underrated band ever. #
  • Make friends before you make enemies. #
  • Remember in school when the teacher was like, "You're not going to carry a calculator around with you every day"? I showed her. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-10

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-09

  • Last night the team had a good cry at the bar and then compared feet. #letsdrinksomethingtogether #
  • Taco Bell's Tacos Locos Taco is a gimmick. Delicious, but still a gimmick. The mexi-melt is still the best of their menu items. #
  • FYI http://t.co/yxLHsYKd #
  • Listen to Captain Beyond all afternoon? Fuck it, I'm in. #
  • Sometimes you're handed design comps that are so bad they actually just make you sad. Thank god no one I work with did them. #
  • @gretchmo It's not a vibe. Seattle is a SMALL FUCKING TOWN. The entire downtown core is a mile across. in reply to gretchmo #
  • "The edge; there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."—HST #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-08

  • I'm going to start a laxative company and call it "21 Dump Street." #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-07

  • Sat through a bonafide Ad Sales pitch for the first time today. Dude said "synergies" within the first 30 seconds. Amazing. #
  • Lavalife would be way cooler if it was actually about volcanos. #
  • The cab ride home from the airport is one of my all-time favorite New York experiences. It can't be duplicated anywhere else. #WelcomeBack #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-06

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-04

  • Drop everything and listen to AC/DC. Right now. #
  • "When removing the old toilet seat, use caution. That's not just rust on those bolts, it's piss-rust." #
  • I love responsive design because when I'm doing 15 things at once, it's nice to know that one of those 15 things is also 15 more things. #
  • @marceloeduardo cc: @fmemoria re: http://t.co/ZbsLd193 — Forget college. Let's just hire this kid. in reply to marceloeduardo #
  • Mend the first break, kill the first snake, and conquer everything you undertake. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-04

  • Drop everything and listen to AC/DC. Right now. #
  • "When removing the old toilet seat, use caution. That's not just rust on those bolts, it's piss-rust." #
  • I love responsive design because when I'm doing 15 things at once, it's nice to know that one of those 15 things is also 15 more things. #
  • @marceloeduardo cc: @fmemoria re: http://t.co/ZbsLd193 — Forget college. Let's just hire this kid. in reply to marceloeduardo #
  • Mend the first break, kill the first snake, and conquer everything you undertake. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-03

  • The air is sooooo dry. My fingers are a chapped mess. #
  • “Givin' Up the Nappy Dugout” by Ice Cube is my new jam. ♫ http://t.co/l8GStjci #
  • 14-year-old Josh just reached through the decades to high five 30-year-old Josh. This made my week. http://t.co/KtehESAd #
  • Context: http://t.co/zt5u0zuJ #Favorites #
  • You only go around once. #
  • Thrive on pressure. Make it say "fuck you." Sleep is the cousin of death. Glory is a red herring. #Pride #
  • "If you're good, you work too much." #
  • Extremes are the only indication that you're alive. #
  • You couldn't be uglier. Catch fire and die. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-03-01

  • Kill people, burn shit, fuck school. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-29

  • I just at a sausage egg and cheese biscuit from Starbucks and I'm perfectly OK with that. Quite enjoyed it actually. #LoveTerribleFood #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-28

  • Should I be embarrassed to say I really dig this record? Probably … http://t.co/QPqVDfKE #
  • Trying to quit all my bad habits. I'll quit chugging coffee right after I quit procrastinating. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-27

  • Sheer willpower will prevent me from getting sick.

    That & generous handfulls of zinc & vitamin C. #

  • @senders I want to start an airline called All Business Air. Yr only allowed on if you've flown 5 times on any airline in the prev year. in reply to senders #
  • "God damn I love bitches. Especially when they only suck dick and wash dishes." – Tyler the Creator #
  • #CNN #OTRC & other news media: If I want to know what ppl are saying on twitter, I go to twitter. You don't seem relevant you seem retarded. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-26

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-25

  • Oscar preview shows are RIDICULOUS. "ZOMG Kate Winslet!!!" #
  • I'm thinking about going into the office this weekend and building a micro half-pipe in the empty space by my desk. #LowesWeekendProjects #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-25

  • Oscar preview shows are RIDICULOUS. "ZOMG Kate Winslet!!!" #
  • I'm thinking about going into the office this weekend and building a micro half-pipe in the empty space by my desk. #LowesWeekendProjects #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-24

  • There should be a Four Square badge for eating breakfast, lunch and dinner in an airport. #
  • The net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it — John Gilmore #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-23

  • If Bono is your style icon, you're doing it wrong. #
  • Gee, airlines, I wonder why all the window and aisle seats are open & all the middle seats are booked? Oh, look at that, they all cost $25. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-23

  • If Bono is your style icon, you're doing it wrong. #
  • Gee, airlines, I wonder why all the window and aisle seats are open & all the middle seats are booked? Oh, look at that, they all cost $25. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-22

  • I'm going to listen to Del all day long. #
  • PayPal is such crap. #
  • In case you were wondering, Key and Peele is not at all funny. #
  • This reeks of desperation. Microsoft playing on fear. Weak: http://t.co/tjtiCIXx #
  • The fact that Clear is all gesture based and doesn't have undo SUCKS. #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-21

  • I love when people who don't drink offer their super insightful opinions about what's going to be the next big thing in brewing. #
  • Starbucks has one of the most over designed apps I've ever seen. #
  • Dude … Guys … You can buy stuff hella cheap on ebay. #
  • Pshh … My mom was named Lin way before it was cool. #
  • Hyperbolic declarative statements annoy me way more than they should. #
  • "I'm riding the same wave, bro." #
  • Anti-intellectualism has been nurtured by the false notion that democracy means 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'— Asimov #
  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #

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Twitter Updates for 2012-02-20

  • "If you had civil rights voted on, I'd be sitting in the back of the bus & with a bad eye driver you'd be sitting next to me." – Al Sharpton #
  • The internet should start a new meme where people kick the shit out of Chris Brown on sight. #

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