Destabilizer

• Coffee shouldn't taste like paint. #
• Suedehead #
• I literally just cranked for ~6 hours on a presentation & finished literally 60 seconds before I had to present it. I don't recommend this. #
• Imagine what cornrows on your nuts would look like. #
• @Megan_Man Not bad, eh? I love it when a plan comes together. in reply to Megan_Man #

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• Drinkwell pills are legit. Go ahead and get shit faced, hangovers are a thing of the past. #
• Some days I'm all like, "Daaaamn." #

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• How the fuck does the keyboard on a laptop not work?!? What the fuck?!? #
• I'm pretty sure ATDI is only reuniting because Mars Volta was too pretentious to succeed & Sparta just plain sucked dicks. #
• Rooting for the NY Giants is way easier than rooting for the Seahawks. And honestly, fuck the Seahawks. #
• My biggest fear during winter is that while I'm walking down the street someone will see my farts. #

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• Santorum: the frothy mixture of lube & fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex. http://t.co/gL85aSK4 (just doing my part) #
• Seems to me the best way to transport large quantities of cocaine would be inside cat taxidermy. #
• Em eye ess ess eye ess ess eye pee pee eye. #
• Against Me! was a great band. Was. #
• "That guy was from Sweden. What a dick." #
• "Hi there. Wanna play rape fantasy?"

  "No!"

  "… Excellent." #

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• Apparently this is what the HIV virus looks like: http://t.co/nT1w1sRB I wonder if I could get someone to knit one for me. #
• @bobbypadavick Seattle has great beer, great food and great music. That's mostly because the weather sucks & everyone has to stay inside. in reply to bobbypadavick #
• Tylerrrrrr the Creatorrrrrr mother fuckerrrrrrr. #
• Money in my pocket, money in my drawls, money in my safe, bitch, money in the walls. #

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• NBC's Work It sounds so unbelievably bad that now I HAVE to watch it. #
• Massive Attack has the most misleading name in all of music. #
• Iowa: Gay marriage legal in 2009. Santorum takes Iowa Caucus in 2012. Conclusion: Iowa loves buttfucking, wants Santorum full of corn. #
• @fixpert http://t.co/AX04IhTz #
• Girrrl. You look hella fine standing next to that super fat chick. #
• #WinterOfTerribleMovies – This week: The Mechanic, Ski Patrol, Crash Course. Ray Walston is my hero. #
• Maybe it's just me, but the idea of having your home phone number printed in a book that's given to everyone, sounds insane. #
• Maybe it's just me, but the idea of having your home phone number printed in a book that's given to everyone sounds insane. #

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• 3 words worry me more than any others: Associate Project Manager. Because ACTING like you know what you're doing is just as good as knowing. #
• Getting fat is so easy. Getting skinny sucks. Fucking eggnog & ice cream & cake & cookies & chocolate & … December. #
• @karlstanton I lost 25 pounds with the LoseIt app, like, 10 months ago. Works like a champ, though eating is still preferable to not eating. in reply to karlstanton #
• Why doesn't the twitter app still translate!?! #
• Gary Busey is the worlds greatest troll. #
• Gary Busey just introduced Ted Haggard's wife to a shaman named Indian Bob. For real. #
• I have something like 400 channels and the most compelling thing on my TiVo right now is literally a show about ice melting. #

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• Taking a week off is an awesome idea. I should do it more frequently. #

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• Damn holiday season. Damn Tony Horton. Dammit. #

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• TV Tropes is worse than crack. #

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